The place where I sacrificed myself on the altar of the doorway,
where I stumbled across the threshold of who I thought I was
to watch the sun go to die forever
and with it
my limiting sense of self.
the end of the earth, the coast of death
portal to the underworld
testing souls in its dark Atlantic depths
and your whispered promise of rising again
barely audible above the relentless wind.
of rocks and sea, sand and tides
beneath your lighthouse I revisited that sacred ritual
a push-pull strain between my radiant soul
and a conditioned lifetime of unspoken rules
where I cast my granite heart into your healing waves
to become nothing—and everything
dissolved to granular, yet somehow solid enough to stand.
returning to you as though I’d never left
as if you’d been there all along
not just in my mind, but real real real.
Now I am here, and I remember.
I was never meant to stay.
Your strength is meant to be lived in the world.
Now, I turn eastward, to face the sunrise
returning home on an uncertain path
carrying your light inside of me.
Always I was meant to do this.
on your dark rocks among the brutal gorse and heather
you killed my illusions
you cut away that which buffered me from pain but kept me from truly living
Today, I walk on toward the promise of dawn
Never surer of anything.