Eyes open, feet to the earth

Miles walked today: 4.75
Total training miles to date: 41.35
Days left til I leave: 50

I got an email from Carol today with the subject line, “Okay. I have to ask.” I haven’t updated in a week, but I’m okay!

Truthfully, I’ve had a few holy sh*t moments in the last week. While they haven’t dissuaded me from going to Spain (I have tickets, after all), my eyes are opening.

Continue reading “Eyes open, feet to the earth”

Up a hill and back down again

Miles walked today: 2.8
Total training miles to date: 31.4
Days left til I leave: 57

On Saturday, Mary, Jill and I went up to Maxwell Butte Sno-Park — and snowshoed a total of 5.5 strenuous miles. Actually, they snowshoed — I found the grainy snow easier to walk on in my hiking boots. There was about 4 feet of snow and it was beautiful. It even snowed a little while we hiked and it was a magical fairy land coming back down the mountain.

We didn’t take photos, so you’ll have to imagine it. 🙂

I’d been getting so used to increasing in mileage that I felt disappointed this morning when I didn’t reach 3 miles on the treadmill. Almost teary.

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Will it all fit?

Miles walked today: 3.2
Total training miles to date: 23.1
Days left til I leave: 60

Because of their policy, tomorrow’s the last day I can return the new backpack for cash if it doesn’t work. So, I spent today actually packing. Everything. Medicines, toothbrush, shampoo and all clothing just to see what it would feel like and determine whether it would all fit.

Here’s the entire packing list, spread out on the bed in small piles.

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On receiving gifts of love and support

Miles walked today: 2.85
Total training miles to date: 19.9
Days left til I leave: 62

After getting my ashen smudge today for Ash Wednesday, John stopped me outside of church and asked me enthusiastically, “Did you get a workout in today?!” I felt so jazzed saying YES! I feel so grateful to the many people who know how big a thing this is for me and are so encouraging. If you’ve done this lately (or just listened to me talk about how excited/nervous I am), thank you. It means a lot to me… and I will take this gift with me on my trip.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve tried not to “need” people most of my life. I’ve often felt guilty for taking up air time. Or taking up space or things that could be someone else’s. I try to stay small and be the first to provide to others — yet when someone tries to give the same kindness back, I feel uncomfortable. As Inspired Spouse and I say, “it doesn’t go in.” I don’t trust it and a kind gesture just bounces off me without nourishing the part of me that wants connection.

I’m sure I’m not alone in this.

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Taking nothing for the journey

Miles walked today: 0
Total training miles to date: 11.9
Days left til I leave: 68

I don’t know where I first heard this phrase, but it has been repeating over and over in my head the last few days: Take nothing for the journey.

It comes from the Gospels: “[Jesus] said to them, “Take nothing for the journey, neither walking stick, nor sack, nor food, nor money, and let no one take a second tunic.” (Luke 9:1-3 NAB) He says this as he is commissioning the twelve disciples to spread the good news and heal the sick.

Even as I type this, it sounds utterly ridiculous. Bring nothing? Seriously, Jesus?

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What I’m looking for

Miles walked today: 2.4
Total training miles to date: 11.9
Days left til I leave: 69

I walked 2.4 miles today! My longest distance yet — and with each workout session, I’m walking just a leeetle bit further!


And, while I walked, I read this:

“[After the Camino,] France and Spain will never again be far away because they are inside of me. Not something in my hands – but something inside my hands, inside of me, that was not there before. It was a hard, hard trip and an unforgettable time. It was the best trip of my life; a golden memory that I will keep in the top drawer always, ready to pull out and remember.

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Why I’m not hating the gym (or myself)

Miles walked today: 1.75
Total training miles to date: 3.55
Days left til I leave: 74

For the first time in my life, I’m going to the gym without intending to lose weight. Could I afford to lose it? Yes. I’m 34% fat, according to the tests from Monday’s training session. I could afford to lose about 40 pounds, really.

But I don’t give a whit.

When the trainer asked me what my goals were, I told her I want to have endurance and balance and feel confident walking long distances. I want to be able to hoist on my pack easily. Most of all, I told her that I wanted to feel strong. Just saying that brings tears to my eyes.

Continue reading “Why I’m not hating the gym (or myself)”