Answering the call with a big fat NO

The irony is not lost on me that I’m currently writing a not-yet-published post about how 7-year-old me completely trusted Spirit … and how I said yes to my call to the Camino in order to receive the spiritual gifts from it.

I’m sitting here looking out on the garden and pouting angrily at the realization that I have to say yes again. God is calling me toward something great, something amazing, and all I’m doing is digging in my heels in defiance. No! Nonono! I want to do it myself! I’m three years old again, grabbing my toy back. I want to control my life. I don’t want to change! I don’t care if the change would be better for me; I want to stay stuck here and mope about how awful it is.

The very idea that I could just say yes to the Divine plan is anathema to my ego’s agenda.

But here I sit at the very edge of the known again, looking out into the cloud-shrouded void of God’s plan—just like I did three years ago when I said yes to walking the Camino. This moment is present for everyone, any time, on any day, but I can feel my feet dangling off this particular cliff, dirt on my pants and gravel under my palms.

Dammit. I know something awe-inspiring awaits on the other side. I just hate that can’t control what that something is or how I’ll get there. Damndamndammit!

I’m sure there are more spiritually awake people in the world who hear a call—a request by the Divine to release control—and in trust, give an unflinching yes. I am not in that crowd. For me, the choice is obvious (say yes!!), but resistance is the first and most powerful response.

My tantrum isn’t over yet, but I know where all of this is headed. I’ll bet you do too.

Mt. Hebo Indian Trail — The Camino continues

The hiking season has officially begun for me! Over the weekend, I was treated gorgeous vistas with an enthusiastic guide. Nancy introduced me to a stunning trail that was once used by Native Americans and pioneers to traverse between the Oregon coast and the Willamette Valley. Eight miles of this long trail have been reclaimed and are now part of a national forest.

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What made it fun was talking about the Camino de Santiago. Nancy has already purchased her airline tickets to walk the pilgrimage this fall. While we hiked with her exuberant lab mixes, we talked about gear—from water-carrying options to the myriad shampoo/soap/laundry detergent solutions. I shared my ill-fated towel experiment choice—a washcloth-sized chamois—and regaled her with my elaborate post-shower routine: dry one arm, then squeeze out the tiny chamois. Dry the other arm, squeeze it out. Wipe down half my leg, squeeze, etc. All the while, I shivered in a breezy shower stall.

If I had to do it all over again, I would have brought a colorful rayon sarong—large enough to absorb water and big enough to wear as a wrap while dressing. It makes a great skirt for church or adds flair and warmth around the neck. The material is thin enough to dry quickly. Plus, a sarong makes a great seat in the grass. Hindsight! How silly it had been to bring a tiny chamois!

Being out in the woods was soul satisfying, and despite my winter sloth, my body felt strong. The best part of the hike was the vista at the top, with the Pacific Ocean in the distance, and the pregnant gray-white clouds above close enough to touch.

This hike was the first of many in 2015. I’ve got a dozen more more hikes planned into fall and will be posting about them periodically. The Camino de Santiago continues into life. Caminar para vivir!

Day 22: Healing the Heart – Fromista to Carrión de los Condes

It’s been said that the lessons of the Camino come in three parts, corresponding to the phases of its physical journey. The first lesson is the body, second the heart, and third the spirit. If this is true, then the meseta is the realm of the heart as the second third of the journey emerging between the mountainous Pyrenees and hilly Galicia.

Over these fecund and flat lands, one has the opportunity to contemplate the inner world of the heart without excessive physical strain. It’s certainly a contrast from the cities and forests. Many complain of the boredom of the meseta and absence of interesting features.

Continue reading “Day 22: Healing the Heart – Fromista to Carrión de los Condes”

My blog has received a Liebster Award!

Not only is this my 100th post, but…

Imagine my surprise and delight when I learned that my blog has received a Libester Award from Samantha and Samuel from the blog, A Couple of Backpackers! It’s a special honor since I really love their blog — it inspires me to set my sites on pilgrimages beyond Santiago in the future!

Continue reading “My blog has received a Liebster Award!”

I’m a guest blogger!

Each year, my friend Courtney McHill writes a blog during Lent. She is a pastor at a local church and all-around great person. I was so excited when she accepted my offer of being a guest blogger.

You won’t be surprised when I tell you that I wrote about the Camino. 🙂

The gist was to write about one of the daily readings, so my language there is more religious-sounding. If that’s not your scene, I hope you’ll enjoy the message underneath.

Here’s the link in case you want to check it out:

http://pastorcourt.wordpress.com/

More to come…

Hi sweet readers!

I’ve been out of commission for a while due to an emergency surgery last month. I’m doing so much better now, but it took away time from my writing.

I’ll be adding more soon as I’m re-starting my daily writing practice next week.

In the meantime, will you comment about what things you’d like to read about? I’d love some inspiration!

xo
Jen

Why I’ve not been writing

I had an intention to fill this blog with stories, images, and insights from my journey… and up to mid-July, I was doing fine on this goal.

And then something happened.

I can’t tell you what it is, because I’m not entirely sure myself. But I could feel myself slowly losing the clarity, the groundedness, and the present-awareness I experienced on the Camino.

Continue reading “Why I’ve not been writing”